| It bites me all the time.
It pees on the carpet.
It screams like it's being hurt when no one is near it.
Mine has terrible paralysis for no apparent reason.
It is always hungry.
It smells bad even after a bath.
IT. IS. SO. EXPENSIVE.
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| I'm productive.
It's because my tiny baby puppy is very very sick and is at the vet.
I'm productive so I don't worry.
I'm worried.
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| My tiny baby puppy just fell asleep in my boobs. That is really all I want to say.
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| So I was watching a porn tonight that starred a more muscular, nakeder, and less presidential Obama look-alike.
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| Lately I have been devoting a lot of time and cognitive energy to finding, being mindful of, and celebrating all of the millions (billions) of things in my life that I feel deep and honest gratitude for.
Which brings me to the issue of my boyfriend and I not being able to be "us" anymore.
Last night, we talked about (and around) the issue of his now being a permanent resident of another city and state. I was feeling very sad about losing him--and feeling very much as though, yet again, someone whom I'd tried to love openly and freely was leaving me in spite of all that.
However, as everybody knows, feeling sorry for yourself has never, not even once, made you feel better.
So I told him that I was trying to find the gratitude, to be grateful.
His response?
You don't have to suppress those things you are actually feeling. The situation between he and I really is, as he confirmed, a big deal. It's okay to feel bad.
And then, he gave me something to truly appreciate, to feel honest, and not forced, gratitude for.
He told me that his appreciation and respect for me extends beyond me being just his girlfriend. That he views me on a completely different and separate plain that can't be compared. That some things about me are not easily replicated, that he may never find them in another person.
And I cannot tell you how grateful I was to hear that.
all is full of
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